I’ve made a few drafts this week

Didn’t type a single word into any of em.

I’m feeling tired, not exhausted, just tired. I’m absorbing so much information at work and in my studies my mind is abuzz. JS and CPP are too similar, it’s breaking my brain. Work is surprisingly easy stuff mostly, so far at least. I’ve been doing a lot of training modules for the most part. Imaged a couple laptops. Went on a quest to solve “The case of the misappropriated workstation”. My coworkers seem like they’re “my people” but I’m having trouble jumping in and trying to relate. I’ve always struggled in social situations until I learn the “rules” of a given group of people. I’m too autistic for this allistic world. It’s fine, it will just take time then I’ll get it.

Joelle finally played NFS heat with me. Not arcadey enough for her taste. lasted about 50 minutes then uninstalled and refunded. I’m not upset about it, but it’s becoming clearer and clearer to me that the racing games of yore are dead and gone if you wanna play on a new machine. Maybe that’s what I should start building in my free time. I’ve never made a high performance game. Hell I’ve never made a game in anything but pygame and pygame is trash (genuinely no offense to any pygame devs, it’s actually great stuff but theres only so much you can do in a single threaded language [yes I know python supports multithreading as of 3.14, I learned 3.12 in my classes and haven’t worked with it since] and even my most basic of games ran into regular race conditions that would cause the game to break, is that my fault? probably).

I want an arcadey racer without an open world. Gimme the quick race button from NFS Underground 2. Or like, what happened to the old Gran Turismo and Project Gotham style racers? Colin McRae Rally had some bonkers good menus.

I feel like it’s a lost art. Why are all the racing games open world right now? I’ve been complaining about it since Burnout Paradise and NFS Undercover (2012). 14 years since a proper arcade racer has dropped. Why is fucking Vecter (a free arcade racer by
Taranasus) the best arcade racer on the market right now? And it’s not even a fucking racer!

Yeah I could go play GRIP or Redout but that’s not what I’m looking for. I could play Vecter but that’s not what I want. I want Burnout 3 (not 4). I want NFS UG2. I want Gran Turismo 4 or earlier. I want “The Club”. I want fuckin Hydro Thunder (omg I love hydro thunder).

Beam.ng is cool, but I don’t always wanna play a softbody physics engine with a car wrapper on it. Assetto Corsa won’t work with my steering wheel, and even if it did, I can’t afford to play that shit.

I’m realizing I never stopped being a gamer, they just stopped making my games. Why do I have to dust off my retro machines to play a game I like? Am I truly in the minority here?